My first 50K by Kim B.
I have always been afraid to fail. I have always wanted to impress people. Failure was huge for me. So much that I wouldn’t even try.
I guess my motto of “do what scares you” really started when I met a friend who is an ultra-runner. She ran trails and did 50Ks and 50 milers. She was an incredible inspiration to me. I was always amazed at what she could get her body to do. She was getting ready to move and I had run my first marathon and my first trail race months before when she encouraged me to run a 50K ultra she was organizing from her house on base. It was going be small, just several of her ultra friends getting together to 'party' and run.
I have always been afraid to fail. I have always wanted to impress people. Failure was huge for me. So much that I wouldn’t even try.
I guess my motto of “do what scares you” really started when I met a friend who is an ultra-runner. She ran trails and did 50Ks and 50 milers. She was an incredible inspiration to me. I was always amazed at what she could get her body to do. She was getting ready to move and I had run my first marathon and my first trail race months before when she encouraged me to run a 50K ultra she was organizing from her house on base. It was going be small, just several of her ultra friends getting together to 'party' and run.
Everglades Ultra 50K Well, she kept asking me if I was going to run it and I kept trying to ignore her. I was terrified to fail! She finally talked me into it after telling me that everyone was going to be extremely encouraging and available for advice. Plus, another SW was going to be running it as her first ultra too. So, I started to train a little bit more since I had already done a marathon and was mostly ready to tackle some higher mileage. I ran some extra-long runs and even went out with fellow Stroller Warriors on the weekends. They kept asking me what I was training for. I would never tell them. I didn’t want people to know I was running it because, what if I failed? About a week before the race, I let it slip that I was running my first 50K. Well when the race came, there were several Stroller Warriors there. We would come back to the aid station and there would be another two warriors waiting to run a leg with us or they were there to cheer us on. It was amazing! I felt so silly worrying about whether or not I was going to fail at this because even if I didn’t finish I had the best support I could ever imagine. Well, I ended up completing that 50K. I had no idea that a 50K would inspire me to take on so much more in my life. Removing the fear of failure has opened up the door to so many amazing adventures in my life.
My summer of failure
It hasn’t all been successes. The summer of 2015, I decided I wanted to go back to school for my masters. I loved the idea of becoming a special education teacher. The hours would work for my kids and I could fulfill my dream of working with children with special needs. To paint you a picture I will just say it was a crazy summer. Hank was gone on deployment and I had to take a general knowledge exam. I’m not a test taker! I mean major anxiety! I have never been a good test taker!
This exam had algebra and junior high grammar rules. I won’t age myself by saying how long it has been since I had done these things, but let’s just say it’s been a long time. So, I spent the entire summer studying by the pool while the kids played. The day of the exam I was nervous, but I just knew this was the right path. Let me just say I bombed it. I mean I failed 2 out of 4 of the exams. It was devastating. I couldn’t understand how I had failed this badly after missing out on fun memories with my kids and studying so hard. That failure was hard! I had a few pity party days and then decided I needed a new plan. It turns out, that failure was the best thing for me. Because of that failure I found my way to Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) and have never been happier.
This exam had algebra and junior high grammar rules. I won’t age myself by saying how long it has been since I had done these things, but let’s just say it’s been a long time. So, I spent the entire summer studying by the pool while the kids played. The day of the exam I was nervous, but I just knew this was the right path. Let me just say I bombed it. I mean I failed 2 out of 4 of the exams. It was devastating. I couldn’t understand how I had failed this badly after missing out on fun memories with my kids and studying so hard. That failure was hard! I had a few pity party days and then decided I needed a new plan. It turns out, that failure was the best thing for me. Because of that failure I found my way to Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) and have never been happier.
My first day back to work in 12 years.
Because I was able to get over my fear of failure, I have founded a Stroller Warriors chapter at MacDill, started a new career, started grad school, ran three more 50K with one of them in the Everglades (can you say hello alligators and snakes?!) and another one alone. When I left MacDill, I told my fellow warriors to do what scares them. Don’t let fear of failure stop you from trying something new. You don’t realize what you were capable of until you do something out of your comfort zone. In my life I have missed so many opportunities because I was afraid to fail. These days I realize that might not have done it perfectly, but I did it! Your friends and your family are there to support you. Try it! Do something that scares you! Get yourself out of that comfort zone and find those amazing adventures.
RSS Feed